Everyday
11:28 PM
Hello everyone! I am so excited to tell you that I've been interviewed by The Wild Juniper!
They have amazing articles to read (which I have read already, haha!) and have featured many artists as well. In the interview, I talked about my journey as an illustrator and where I draw inspiration from, among other things.
You can click the link above or you can head on to their Instagram page so you can also check out their feed! Thanks Leah and Heather! X
Writing this now, I have realized how this had made me take a step back to see and understand myself once again. I have been really busy with art among other things that I couldn't have any time to reflect on my journey. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be able to bounce back from my super long hiatus in illustration. It's not that I wasn't illustrating, mind, but I wasn't able to feel anything whenever I did. It was as if all feeling was away, for such a long time. But last year, I persevered. I became stubborn and pushed myself to keep creating, even though I know my illustration skills have not improved for such a long time. I spent my entire days and nights illustrating and experimenting, allowing my mind to finally be able to play, to listen to my own thoughts.
When October came, I joined Inktober, an annual drawing trend that features ink as the main medium for illustrations. There must be one illustration for each day of the month. It's not required that one should draw everyday. But deep inside of me, this was my chance. I have always made excuses whenever I had the itch to sketch -- too many things to do, so much work, so many errands, headaches and other such things, including the lingering thought that I wasn't good enough. But how does one improve? You must beat your own doubts and excuses. I was too stubborn to give up even one day. If there were no ideas in my head for the day, I'd keep myself busy with other things and then come back to the table and draw again. And no matter how long it would take me to finish one drawing, I didn't mind. I have insomnia (it came handy this time around) and finished illustrations until way past midnight. And in the calmness of the odd hours, the stories came. One by one, they revealed themselves to me. I loved writing stories, but for so long it was as if their voices were silenced, even by my own doing. But like a secret they came back. The night has given me the time to truly listen, to feel again. I'll always be thankful for the silence of the night when nothing stirs but my own thoughts and the pencils and brushes on paper. I forgot how to listen, but now I'm able to. And I'll just have to keep reminding myself that I should do that, always.
Along the way, I've also met so many wonderful people who I never thought I'd meet. I was what one could call a solitary person but somehow, there are some who became a part of my every day life, distance and time zones were never a problem. My family and friends have stayed with me through thick and thin too. I'm always grateful. Those people's words have constantly made me push myself even further and have comforted me like a nice pat on the back after a hard day's work. Or an, "It's okay, you're fine." And most of all, each time someone says that they feel something from my stories and illustrations, I feel like I was out there in a sunlit field, feeling the wind in my hair and the sun's warmth on my skin. Or out under the night, staring out at the possibilities as countless as the stars. I feel like I'm in front of a vast, blue sea too, but I was excited, not afraid.
In short, I felt alive.
I'm still pushing myself these days, but I learned to be patient. I learned to laugh at my mistakes and even love my own shortcomings. I only have to love what I'm doing in order to keep going. It's true that things take time and hard work -- I believe it with my whole heart and soul. I thought I'd be stuck with doubts, but I'm so thankful that I'm gently walking along a path that makes my heart soar in the skies, glowing like a star in the night. I'm still a long way away, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the path I'm walking on and cherish every simple thing that makes me happy, inspired and alive. That's what I yearn for, really. To be truly happy. I'm not as out there as I would have wanted, but I know and feel that I am where I should be. And that is enough for me.
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